“Trans Generation”
I do not watch much broadcast television and my cable selections are purposefully limited, so I do not get the Sundance Channel. However, my Netflix account allows me to get DVD encapsulations of many series that I have never heard of but upon seeing them, have enjoyed. Transgeneration (TG) is one of those Sundance Channel syndicated documentaries that has so much truth to tell us about real people and complicated relationships.
T.J., Lucas, Raci and Gabbie each have unique perspectives; the discussion of which are usually avoided in politically conservative circles. They all struggle with the process, both conscious and physical, of transitioning from one gender to another. They want to be the person that they feel that they are. The tomboys who see themselves now as men and the driven “sissies” who now seek to have the bodies of women and recognition as a woman, without the possibility of having biological children from their own gene pool in a simple manner. People have such goings on in their lives. One of the things that comes up in polite conversation about trans gendered people is how genuine a loving relationship can be as a transgender person? As demonstrated by the relationship between T.J., a female to male transsexual, and his girlfriend, the dynamic is no different; individuals share who they are and their intimate journeys to where they are with compassion, affirmation, concern and love.
At one time, I had two parishioners who dated with the opposite gender but never developed long relationships. They were known in the GLBT community but were closeted tightly because they did not want their extended birth family or their church community to know they were gay and lesbian. Their public lives were carefully conceived shows for their extended families. They could not share their journey with their family, their pastor or their partners. These folks were well into middle age and still riddled with childhood fear of disappointing the parents and being on the receiving end of disapproval. As a non-transsexual transgendered person, who has had three honest and two successful relationships with the opposite gender, I, too, had those same feelings about disapproval. My late mother and her mother, in whom I confided my transgender dilemma, continued to care about me and treat me with dignity and respect as a person, however they died over a decade ago. Likewise, my sister and I are close; as are many of my close friends, the members of the religious congregation I belong to, on line and my spouse. Lucas, Raci, and Gabbie, on TG, all have good relations with their parents. T.J., whose parents are Armenians living in Cyprus, is experiencing some distancing from his parents. Though T.J.’s situation seems to reflect the response of parents imagined by transgender persons prior to disclosing, literature reflects that the reality is more even.
It is one thing to feel like a man and make a transition to manhood. That works regardless of sexual preference. The same for feeling like a woman and making that transition. Homophobia seems to grip fundamentalists of most religions; this is when an individual’s homosexuality is open and apparent. Like the male and female mutually exclusive dichotomy, gay and lesbian circles are mutually exclusive. It is a concept most people can wrap their heads around. Yet, the catch word for both is “exclusive.” The lack of dialogue arises in the grouping of sexual and gender inclusiveness. The general population of most of the world has no clue, even leaders of industry and religion. They cannot seem to conceive that people have relationships both sexual and gender-wise; yet, all of these inclusive folks are lumped into a mistaken understanding of homosexuality. Gender identity is not sexual, it is how we express ourselves without standing on a monolithic dichotomy.
Transexuals dearly desire to be physically a gender into which they are not born. Medicine can only accommodate an incomplete transition. Medicine falls short of some future gene therapy where gender could be changed at a cellular level. Yet, even here, sexual preference is not guaranteed. Transitioned women often want the full experience of womanhood including an intimate relationship with a biological man. This is where the social taboos on homosexuality get hazy. Then there are those who despise men, a concept which figured greatly into the decision to transition and prefer only a close relationship with another woman, transitioned or biological. Again, the appearance of a same gender relationship is on shaky ground. Conversely, the same logic can be safely applied to female to male transitioners.
Bisexuals are a complete different world and have different motivating factors ranging from hedonism to neediness to conquest to deep seated feelings that two genders exist in the individual in varying degrees. Since such individuals are not exclusive, they really do not belong in the category of homosexuality, some of their acts may be but exclusivity is non existent here. However, bisexuality should not be confused with those who express themselves as inter-gender or “Omnigender”[1] persons. This inter-gender group is also often connected to those who are asexual and see themselves without gender, “eunuchs” as it were, though the two groups are as different as night and day. The former can be very inclusive but the latter is monolithically exclusive and self-sustaining.
Gender fluidity is well explained in the following: “..Sex, gender, and sexuality represent analytically distinct categories, that the sex of the body does not determine either gender or sexual identity, that doctors can alter characteristics of bodily sex. Some disputed binary definitions of biological sex by adopting a newer version of the early twentieth-century concept of a spectrum of sexes, a vision of multiple sexes "from very male to very female, with countless variations in between." Others focused on gender identities, not rigid identities, but "identities in progress . . . distinct from the material body." Some saw in transsexuals an evolving core sense of self and others a postmodern "fluidity ... a limitless number of genders, for any length of time, at any rate of change." Many combined the feminists' critique of the constraints of rigid gender dichotomies and the gay liberationists' goal of freedom of expression, and rendered healthy the variations that doctors had routinely cast as illness and disorder. "Transgender and transsexual," Jason Cromwell wrote, "are genders that exist outside the binary of two."[2]
With this in mind, in episode seven, Raci and her friend Apple go on a transgender bike-a-thon in Malibu. As they gather in groups to discuss the issue of sexual reassignment surgery (SRS), Apple tells of a transsexual friend who had completed SRS twenty years before. “I asked her if I should get the surgery and she said ‘If you are happy that way, stay that way’” It is so simple, being who you are without altering ones biology on the belief that your problems would be solved by SRS. There is much more to life than “passing” one way or another.
We, who are happy with who we are as we are, need to be more outspoken and less furtive in trying to appear at one extreme or the other of the gender spectrum. It has been sixty years since Kinsey first statistically demonstrated this spectrum, we have come a long way in medicine since then but as a larger society very few have accepted the concept of fluid gender. Even those of us who are out as fluid in our gender identity have done little to accept it in themselves, much less move toward social action in this area. Virginia Mollencott makes a good case for accepting the fluidity in ourselves and how it would minimize any rush to gender reassignment ant its connected expenses.
Transgeneration is an excellent introduction to the reality of life for young transgender individuals, though the desire for support and community is a driving force in all but Gabbie who seemed self-absorbed and single-minded in her approach to SRS. T.J., Lucas, and Raci seemed to be more open to being treated as the gender identity they presented though SRS did not seem to be their focus. I have yet to see a documentary about transgender individuals who are not locked into acceptance as a male or female. The subject has been a demeaning source of comedy in the Hollywood driven media. The need for community of like minded individuals is what drives us to seek out mates, friendships, spiritual community and camaraderie with strangers we might encounter in the dining car on a rail trip. We need each other more than one might think and we need to be included in our wider community. The greatest challenge is not gaining the acceptance of others but accepting ourselves as we are any given moment of the day. Some of us still have a long way to go. Being healthy in mind requires one to be true to oneself, regardless of the opinions of others or the monoliths that stand in the way.
[1] Mollenkott, Virginia; Omnigender; Pilgrim Press, 2002
[2] Meyerowitz, Joanne, How Sex Changed:A History of Transsexuality in the United States, Harvard University Press (2002) pg. 284
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